I am Not an Octopus

How long does it take to unload and load the dishwasher? Apparently and hour and a half. That is because even though the kids aren't hungry and insist they don't want lunch yet, as soon as I step in the kitchen they are hungry.

So Luke wants chips and salsa, and even though I've said "ok" and am trying to get it, he cries over and over, "I want chips and salsa! I want chips and salsa. I want chips and salsa." So we did a nice lesson using the "caveman" form of talking.

"LUKE WANTS CHIPS AND SALSA," I say, acknowledging what he wants. "MOM SAYS YES! I GET CHIPS AND SALSA. LUKE SAYS CHIPS AND SALSA 1 TIME. NO MORE." It really does work. He didn't say it anymore after that. I try and unload the dishwasher.

Meanwhile, Cailey wants something (probably a cookie) but knows it might not be a good time to ask, so she keeps saying, "Mom?" And I say, "Yes Cailey?" and she says, "I love you." She does this a few times. I decide to go ahead and make lunch for everyone.

Mia is actually not hungry and is trying to use Word on the computer in her playroom. I've shown her how to use the spacebar, backspace, and enter as well as inserting a page break and clip art. But since it wasn't intended for a 6 year old to use, I have to keep going in to help her. I finally tell her I can't help her anymore because I'm trying to take care of the dishes, make lunch, deal with tired Lukey and I'm getting a little frustrated. Cailey says, "I know. We aren't octopusses!"

At this point Luke decides he's done. He has cheese dip all in his hair. So I wash it in the sink while he cries that I'm going to drop him.

I put lunches on the table. I get Luke in his chair. I go back to get drinks. Luke starts crying again. I realize he's crying because I didn't put his lunch on his tray and it is still sitting on the table. I ask Cailey to get it. She does. He's still crying. He wanted me to put it on his tray. I go back and take it off his tray, put it on the table for a moment, then put it back on his tray. Ok, now he's perfectly happy.

Thinking they will be content, I contine to work on the dishes. But alas, I forgot their drinks. Get the drinks. Give up on the dishes. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I decide to eat too.

Finally fed, they are off and I finish the dishes, though I have to stop a few times because Luke has decided to go back and eat some more, getting Doritos cheese all over his fingers. I wipe them once with a wet paper towel. However, when he reaches for them again, this just makes the cheese stick more. I get smart and put the chips up and wash his hands in the sink.

Somehow I get all the dishes unloaded and loaded. And now I'm sitting down for a break. Because I really am not on octopus.